Saturday, May 29, 2010

tangled up in you

"in this world where nothing else is true... here i am..... still tangled up in u..."

finally the 3yr long MCA came 2 an end cpl of days ago.. thot f posting dis 1 dat day itself but dint really feel lyk typing den.. but d 3 yrs , dis blogshpere n d ppl abt whome d post is goin 2b desrvd dis 1...d final day f colg,, d last viva f dem all.. smthing made me feel amazing dat day.... ws happy beynd say how can ending f d colg can mk u feel so,, fair enuf... but dunno wot was it..

nostalgia has been in d air 4 smtym now.. actually i felt it started alil early 4 sm f us :P... evn now dis post myt b a lil early ,, but guess sm yrs dwn d line reading it wud mk dat NOSTALGIA factor come alive... so it comes now.. but d essence f it mite tk smtym 2 surface.. (did dat make sense?? well am not a literature guy or a english teacher soo alls well :P)

goin back 2d 1st yr f colg.. d very 1st day ..1AUG 2007 ..SAD it ws.. lookin at d classmates i ws goin 2 hv 4d next 3yrs.. made me feel "lag gayi yar.. yeh kaisa crowd hai :P".. n den d thot of ok lemme jst b wid sm studious nerds n study here 4 3long yrs n get d degree n hallelujah... but den der ws dis fimiliar face.. sm1 4m my graduation days.. sm1 i had nvr noticed b4.. sm1 i had no contact wid.. but here d face seemd like a blessing in disguise :P.. a female 4m my grad tuition days.. who i nvr interactd wid.. but here it ws lyk .."ohh i knw u " how funny is dat.. ..dey say ppl r destined 2 meet 1 way or d odr.. guess it holds true in evry aspct n way... dis very female went on 2b d gelling factor for 5 more random individuals... probably she had d eye for genuine ppl :P n ws der 4d purpose f bringing in ppl 2ghtr.. d shorter she is in strature d taller she is in her ways n ambitions... the title of "jhansi ki rani"(tho i prefer 2 cal her chotti) mite jst fit her well... 4 incite her evn alil n she will b ready 2 tk on d world.....d precision she can chew d pen n transform it in2 a small lil umbrella ws commandable :P.. n mind u alot f concentration n precision went in2 it... 1yr dwn d line,, dunno how it went by.. n she left 4 greener pastures.. but not b4 she bot sm f totaly opposite ppl 2ght... looking back in tym... doesnt seem it wud hv been posible odrwise.. but den again if things r destined 2b.. den dey will b 1 way or d odr... she still remains chotti n d jhansi ki rani spirit only growin stronger day by day... :P

den der ws D dude... d master of all n jack of none.. is der anything on dis planet dat d dude cant hv solutin 2?? NONE.. my 1st interaction wid d dude.. n he goes on 2 ask me if i smoke n i need not feel shy if i do :P... unfortunate 4d dude.. i dnt.. alot changed ove tym wid d dude.. not a bad person but guess tyms n company smtyms mks us in2 a diff person altoghtr.. d day we start thinking abt wot odrs think n not wot we think.. dat very day v lose ourselves n d result aint rosy 4 no1.. had my share of bitter sweet exprnces wid d dude... guess not all can b frnds... ppl arnt gud or bad .. but tyms can b tricky... so 3yrs gone by.... i can only wish all d very best 2d dude.. n hope rathr am sure he will do exceedingly well in wotevr he chooses 2do..

now i'v met many a individuals in my life... but nvr b4 have i come across any on d same lines as f d ones am goin 2 write abt

dey say ladies 1st.. but am gona make it a lil diff by making ladies man 1st :P.. am sure d ladies wont mind at all on dis... n am not jst sayin dis 4d heck f it... smtym dwn d road i ws enlightend wid d fact dat d persons popularity has alwaz been such... 2d extend of him being called "MM"... wich ws short of marriage material :P... gurls 4m his grad days told him how he ws d guy who dey cud tk home n introduce 2 der family... talk abt fans.. here is a superstar himself... a GEM f a person in evryway f life... ppl develop an instant liking 4him. n in d last 3 yrs not jst women but men hv been attracted 2him alike :P :P... he can very easily b a male version on meneka.. LOL... dunno.. jst felt like writing dat... d guy's philosphy leaves me wondering at tyms... his humour n timing of one liners ... not many can match his wit.. tho i try but guess its natural born talent n not all can match mine eithr :P :P.... jokes apart , a very genuine person n evn a bttr frnd.. wud go n did go totaly opposite , out f his ways 2help out ppl.. i hapnd 2hv exprncd dat 4 my own misfortune :(

but like i said its all destined so cant really run alway 4m nothin.. tyms n situations r funny..

moving ahd of d ladies man... gota get 2d ladies now... 2f der own kind... d 1st tym i got 2 knw dem... :P well d fact dey being 4m a gurls convent made me cautious... thot dey were clever n only acting 2b dumb but wid tym dey prvd me wrong :P :P... dey were neithr clever nor dumb ...while one has a childish like smile n glint in d eye... d odr has elegance n sophistications of a royal princess... while 1 is hasmukh d odr 1 is dadi ma , where ones infectious smile can brighten evn d gloomiest f atmosphere arnd, d odrs dignity n class will mk u try n b in ur best behaviour... needless 2 say both had der own huge fan following ... guys wanting 2 jst say a hi... but only managing d courage 2do d same on social networking :P :P... funny 2wrds d beginning f it all dey hated me 4my rude n to much in d face nature... i 2 dint had much likin 4d 2 eithr.. partially 4 der schooling history :P n partially f d fact dat dey dint approve f my ways f treating ppl n d dislike ws evident... but wid tym d dislikes changed in2....hmmm... appreciations lets say n not likes 2 b politically correct here :P :P.... things chngd wid tym 4 gud n d way dey stand now.. it funny thinking f how n where v started...

3 long yrs made short by certain ppl... had our shares of ups n downs... d latter being few,, n former being so many dat cant count dem ....n d dwns i blv only bot us evn closer.. 4it made me realse d value n need of des ppl arnd.... remmbr d days f nonstop nonsense lafters 4 no rhyme or reason.. finding d humour in almost nething.. laffing 4 hours dat d jaw starts aching n tears start rolling dwn d cheeks.. of 1 particular individual specially...d bonding tyms at NSP or countless hours at CP...

remmbering tyms f making fun f almost evry1 :P... d way some walkd.. d way odrs used 2 talk... den d postures few used 2mk .. suggestin as if dey r asking d teachers.. "madam meri maar lo" ROFL.... giving nicknames 2 ppl... d kartik ka mahina incidences :P.. n countless such memories... guess i alone cant recollect dem all.. aftr all i ws not a only 1 ... i had my partners in crime....

i alwaz hated d class rooms n lectures,, ws on d low side f d attndence alwaz .. n cudnt stand d administration.. but still am glad i landed up in d colg dat ws ours 4d past 3 yrs... 4 i made sm frnds here who i jst cnt afford 2 lose.. each individual made me realise smthing or d odr.... my post r usually long ..dunno if dis 1 is short or long.. but it sure is very small 2 jott dwn all my memories n praises 4 des individuals.. but guess like sm things sm memories r bttr kept unsaid n unshared...

P.S. prior 2 starting dis post, jst say a dosti video upload by a talented junior.. wid d jane kyun song 4m dostana bein played in d backgrnd... d song sure fits d bill ... am not makin no radio broadcast request here.. but sure wud dedicate it 2d few close 1s who i sure cant b widout.... :P


"how long has it been since this story line begin....... n i hope it never ends .....n goes like dis 4evr"

P.P.S. the start n end quoted lines are 4m d very same song which is d title 4dis post....

Sunday, May 16, 2010

My Jekyll Doesn't Hide

stautionary warning: dis post is going 2b reminiscence of my older post....old wine in new bottle types,nothin new in it.. jst dat hvnt posted 4 long so thot will post smthing :P

smtym during my junior school day i read dis amazing story wich still fascinates me .. the story of DR JEKYLL and MR HIDE.. tho i dnt remmbr d whole story but d idea f how 1 small portion can change d respctful educated doctor in2 a lost soul rathr a wickd creature at nite is evil.. awesum isnt it...tho 2day i wonder do v really need ne such portion 2 turn in2 1such creature,, b it day or nite?? or is it sm portion dat v require so dat v can b othrWISE... PHILOSOPHY :P .. i so love d subject..specially wen i get 2 gv it 2 ppl.. n bsyds been long now since i last posted smthing her on d blogsphere... (not dat i hv disappointed ne f my fans here :P.. but still) so thot y not jott dwn smthing... this track title seemd nice thot wud mk it d title 4d post..

its been awhile n nothin really has been coming 2my head.. well actually nothing really worthwhile posting here.. d head had hundreds f things flickering evyday.. jst not having d peace 2 sort dem out.. n no hope seems 2b on d way for dat in d near future.. so gota let things b n tym play its part.. v all want d perfect world 4 ourselves n keep searchin 4 it all d tym.. smtyms v evn think v jst myt hv got dat .. but b4 v realise its tym 2 move on... in practicalty dat perfect world doesnt exists.. no mattr how hard u try 2 find it u can nvr keep it d way it is... like dey say change is d only constant ,,, so b it.. i blv in d "tym cycle" or "samay ka chakra" shud i say,, 4 wenevr thing arnt goin d rite way 4 me.. i like 2 blv tym will show d way n der is nothing dat i can do 2 mk things rite... more or less d philosphy of let tym tk control f it , is wot keeps me goin.. but dunno wen d tym mite play d spoil sport n throw d short ball wich i wnt b able 2 avoid.. well as i blv ... tym will tk cr f evn dat :P :P..

nehw coming back 2d title f d post.. wot i thot f posting here...

now for smtym (shud hv named d post tym n again or smthing like dat mayb ,nvrdless) i hv been noticing or shud i say hv been made 2 notice or realise a certain trend dat i hv had in my life for long now... i like 2 blv dis is how i hv alwaz been... but off late 2 many ppl hv been tryin 2 mk me realise how i'v been (n do i care abt des suggestion n realizations?? well dnt think i do.. but still am posting here for it seemd nice topic 2 squeeze a post out f it :P.. so gota thnx dos ppl for dis...) i am made 2 blv or shud i say i blv ;p.. dat wid me arnd der is no conversation dat remains a conversation.. n more dan often it changes in2 an argument or debate.. n bttr still (4 me atlst) it winds up wid me having d last word ;p almost alwaz.. now is it dat am gud or is it dat am suferring 4m sm disorder 2 hv d last say all d tym .. or is it sm escape routine dat i mite b on2 widout realising it... phewww dats heavy.. nvr gave it a thot but writing here it seems scary,,,, but its more scary 4d ppl arnd dan me so all gud :P or is it??? ... not many r able r handle d pressure n more dan often dey tk d back seat... a frnd rathr EX frnd once said i'll keep losing all my frnds if i dnt stop dis habit f mine... for wich i blv if my frnds cant handle my flaw (like she wud hv had liked me 2 blv it dat its a flaw) den dey arnt my frnds in d 1st place... 4me its like if u wont ovrlook a persons flaws u can nvr bfrnd dem... d sole reason y v r frnds wid ppl dat v r frnds wid is becos v dnt mind der flaws or d odr syd.. but rathr blv in dem n njy d tyms wid dem... u wnt get d diamond till u dig deep in d coal mine :P.. off course u can get d polishd custom made 1 at d stores but u gota pay heavy materialistc price 4it n dey r polishd not in d raw form.... but d 1 u find in d coal mine by all ur efforts is d 1 u gona cherish evn more... dat cost wudnt b materialstc :P :P.. (and i cant help but tap myself on d back 4 dis philosophy :P :P,, excuse me 4 dat)

sarcasm n comments have become synonomous wid me now.. well dey hv alwaz been der wid me.. for me bsyds me ;p... but guess now its pinching ppl 2 much... n worst still as dey wud feel (bttr still like i wud say) it doesnt mttrs 2me if dey get pissed of... now i knw am gona get sm gyan 4 dis.. well hv been getin in d near past 2 (hmm near past sounds wierd..).. but still if ppl cant stop acting like morons n jackasses,, dey dnt expect me 2 stop torturing dem.. for dey get wot dey gv .... poor souls dey r ... for dey blv i can only strip ppl off der dignity... wot dey dont realise is .. dey alrdy r naked in dat deprtmnt... LOL n i dnt say it out f arrogance .. but i say dis 4 i hv ppl n frnds arnd who hv been der n ovrlookd d flaws (if it is i still wud say :P) n dey knw how it is wen i praise ppl.. like d post title says... MY JEKYLL doesnt HIDE... u act like an asshole arnd me n i'll b ur worst nitemare... u dnt b 1 n u'ill c i aint dat bad aftr all... well i wnt b bad but u still will b an asshole deep dwn insyd so no use...

all des philosphies hv been working fine 4 me uptill now... :-/ stepping in2 d corporate world has changed a thing or two in less dan 3 months... dunno how long n d jekyll 2 hide transition wud b complete on me... playin ofyc ofyc sure isnt easy... getin in d mud 2 wrestle d pig u hv 2 get dirty .. evn if u try 2 stay out f it.. still ur arnd n d splashes will get u dirty... no mattr where u plan 2 run away its all arnd... only d mud puddle n pigs r diff... n dey r literally licking d arse f ones in front f dem... not a game am gona play... nvr played it nvr will... dey say survival f d fittest .. u not gona get fit by licking assess assholes..

its funny how ppl change der colors in a split sec ... dis art has baffeled me alwaz.. but i nvr had 2 tk such crap in life... n now gota think 2wc b4 getin d thots across... dat scares me... gota device d ways 2 b mr hide wen in d corporate n dr jekyll wen out in d normal world... but often d portion plays 4 long n b4 v knw its mr hide who has taken ovr in all aspects f life....

evry1 has sm1 sitting on top of dem wid a stick in hand 2 spank (:p)  or d way it goes 2day bamboo 2 ahhmmm ahhmmm... nehw dats not imp how u address d issue.. wot imp is y tk dat bamboo or stick or any crap... ?? nw here d old refuge "tym "comes in2 its tricky mode n mks u do wot u nvr thot u will... all our lives v keep working hard 2 get in2 d corporate n once in der it gets evn worse.. atlst dats wot my 2 odd months f corpor8 life suggets.. now its not dat bad eithr... for i like 2 blv things cud hv been evn worse... n alwaz picture d worst case scenario 2 mk myself content wid wot is arnd... but den nostalgia f d tyms n ppl 4m dat once existent perfect world mks me wonder where am i n doin wot??

hmm how did i start n where am i goin now... (i mean 2 say dat 4d flow f d post :P) guess shud stop now.. else i'll get bored writing 4gt abt ppl reading dis... so gues aftr a long hibernation like a fellow blogger said... here is my latest post :P... dunno wen d nxt instalment wil surface.. tho ending dis smthing has alrdy croppd up in d mind.. not on des lines smthin dat most f d ppl who read my posts knw... but still myt b fun givin d photographc insite on it... chalo till den dis is all i got...

P.S. i dnt think i can stop d habit f commenting .. its deep down insyd f me ;p... bsyds i blv d 1s who cant match  d wit end up sulking sayin evrything is a topic f debate or argumnt 4me.. for der r d 1s who njy des discussions n more dan often end up outwitting me n having d last words.. :P