black illusion

THE TRUTH WILL MAKE YOU FREE..
this was and still i believe is the GOLDEN rule of my school...sure the truth does makes us free.. free from almost everything but everyone gotta pay a price for this freedom to come... now when there is a cost to pay, how is the concept of "free" working with the truth ???was watching this movie "valentine's day" (and why was i watching this?? lets see, have seen almost all the good action ,thriller ,comedy movies i got , all that is left are the sappy ramonaticas.. and i dont have anything against romantic comedies..i liked "notting hill" and "sweet november"...among others... so ended up watching this one too.. besides i also saw "harry met sally"-nice movie, "serendipity"-not bad, "remmember me"- sad boring NONSENSE... in the past few weeks) and one of the lines in the movie got me wondering if this can make a blog post?? after all been long since i last visited my page..

we all encounter times in life where the so called ghosts from past or some secret/fact we prefer to stay unknown come visiting us... or atleast this sure is the case in romantic movies... things we think we can do better without, truth which we dont want to accept but cant ignore either for long... things which are not in our control.. or sometimes are our own wrong choices or decision for the times and circumstances... there are the times we gota take the wrong turn.. or some lineage you gota carry forward with you without any choices... just when you think things are going perfect for you and nothing can go wrong, the skeletons from the closet come knocking... now have i got any such closets full of ghosts am scared of?? lets c... or should i
be taking a generall perspective and take the onus of me by saying no one is perfect.. we all have our dirty closets which we dont want to clean up.. or refuse to acknowlegde most of the times... but how long before knock knock knockong on heavens' door..

how one can go on to build a perfect world by keeping one little (or more than just one in some cases) secret aside for the fear of that one things ruinung up it all.. but the great minds will say gota make the base strong and not lay the world with some skeletons underneath... in any world the ghosts will do there job and come haunting.. hmm seems am out of words and just writing the same thing in different ways.. something i picked up in my MCA days to fill up the answer sheets ;p.. but well gota be rusty writing after this long and doing nothing but lying on bed for 40 odd days now.. so anyhow what got me thinking was no matter how dark d secret, in romantic movies the ending goes happy more then often for kiss and make up and THE END..
seems the concept fits well in real life too.. not d kiss and make up but once ur meet ur THE END, people tend to forgive you and remmember only your good side ,not the not so good which you tried to avoid in the
first place.. but the same people might not be very convinced of your decisions till the time you were hanging on.. funny aint it??

so where do we set the boundaries for how much amount of not so truth should be included in the perfect worlds?? to be free from the fear of being haunted by the ghosts... or to evaluate which ghost wont be that scary and which one would be... facing our worst fear and becoming a good person , but everyone can see
there own skeleton in a light where they would feel it isnt that bad why cant people acceplt it.. but go across the table and some else's skeleton would be unacceptable to that same person.. the concept TRUST always facinates me, how people say they do.. but one small doubt and the "I DO" changes to "DO I".. no amount of trust can ever make the slightest of doubt go away.. but the vice versa can happen in a fraction on a split second... how one unknown blast from d past can lit the fire of betrayal and end up in nothing but ashes of good times.. (:P not bad.. still not that rusty am i?? or is too lame?? i'll give myself benefit of the doubt..) trust they say lays the strongest foundation for mankind.. but why the same trust has the weakest of base for itself?? like i said funny i find trust.. many times we hear people saying i trust you... the funny acts can begin then and there itself... with the other person thinking.. no you dont ur just saying.. self doubting is it?? or the person saying just for the heck of it and get away with it.. well if we doubt then trust is the land of unknown for us.
but if everything is fine and there is no doubt in anyone regarding anyone else then i believe some TRUTH can be kept at bay and done without... for in the no doubt all trust situation.. sometimes truth will be a heavy price to pay to be free.. counter me saying with that amount of trust none can shake the foundation, but that's where the human psychi comes into play and it sure is twisted.. ou never know when the best of person can become the worst of nightmares... where does the trust goes away then?? or are we too weak to acknowlegde the truth.. be it our own or someone else's?? but why does so called or framed as "betrayal" of one person matters more then some one else?? the more you count on the person the more trust-doubt-hurt factor comes in.. while the insignificant's truth remains insignificant and they still keep the same place.. guess the higher we rise the greater the fall funda plays well here...

too many question i ask in my post some say.. but never give the answers.. well if i had the answers i guess i would not be talking about things like theses in the first place.. plus we all know preaching is way more easy than to practise.. we may say great things but when gota face the situations ourselves.. who knows where we might flip out.. still i believe irrespective of the skeletons and ghosts.. somewhere down if things and people are meant to be ... none of the paranormal activies matter(please bear with my attempt at metaphors here.. only if they are.. never was into wren and martin during school) the test of one's character and relationships only make them stronger, provided they were strong enough to go through the turbulent times in the first place.... too many conditions?? philoshy-easy to preach and not so easy to practise? well what can i say.. i aint no one.. and none in this world are perfect... lets c how long before my skeletons show me the middle finger and screw things up... or do they get a middle finger from me once and for all... well my old rescuer time comes for me here and says let me take you through and when it will be right it will play the cards itself.. and my weakness allows it to plays the cards as per its convinience.. why rush in the ghosts when time is on y side :P :P.... or is it?? well only the almighty time can answer that... till then alls well with the world... AMEN

P.S. hmm not bad dint turn out that small post after all.. but some habits shuold die hard... some traits of a human being should never change... else he/she loses there own selves.. hopefully no sms style this time , tried my best to keep it out, but aint gona check for that, so let things be..

SOMETIMES TRUTH CAN MAKE EVRYTHING ELSE LOOK LIKE A LIE

(now these were the words which got this post in the making..hit me deep and got me wondering if lies can be good at times)

born to booze

 dis post has been in d pipelines for long now.. just thot shud get it out here n break the heavy philosophical..( depressing or full f negatvty , as some wud say) posts.

dis gvs u an insite on how i hapnd 2 get d drinking habit.. well growing up i was alwaz tot by my folks dat alcohol is bad.. n ppl who drink alcohol r evn worse... only bad ppl get drunk.. n evn d gud 1s who drink become bad... the DEMON ALCOHOL.. n d gud kid dat i was(stil am :P) i alwaz stayed away from d daru gang.. but destiny had odr plans for me.. n soon i realised how i hv been in a misconception f associating dear alcohol wid d wrong...

fisrt tym evr i ws tricked by a frnd , luckily 4me i dint get tipsy evn after 4 pegs n 2 shots f vodka.. since den der ws no looking back... vodka ws history n i soon got 2 my calling ..SCOTCH WHISKEY.. some1 askd me wots d diff btwen d 2 ,, n i gues scotch is more smoother dan whiskey.. rest who cares.. drink it n u'ill knw all d differences.. pun intended here :P

alil socialising here n der with d alcohol, so dat i bttr b sober b4 getin back home.. well, d folks still got der prejudice against d poor thing.. so bttr y mix d 2.. n on dat i remmber drink 2 health drink 2 happiness. but never mix ur drink else u drink 2 il-health... or mayb somtym u shud drink 2 il-health :P.. cos by d end of it all drinking is d only concern..

i alwaz blv dat 90% f d ppl who get drunk only act stupid n r very much aware of wot dey r upto.. some jst tk an excuse 2 act stupid n some hv it in der head dat once dey drink dey ougth 2get tipsy.. my exprnce says.. yes u talk stupid ,, or is it dat u mk lots f sense once drunk... for some call it d truth syrup... haha.. jst felt like :P but der r d real heroes who actually get sloshed bad with excess f alcohol.. n evry1 needs 2get d hero in dem out once in a while.. ;p alwaz heard of hangover remedies but d truth is none f dos evr work.. n 1 shud nvr tk any f dos.. best remedy - drink again so dat d hangovr gets drunk itself :P.. n once its ovr... get andr 1.. only if u gota get home or ofyc next day,, .. well den u gota mk use f wichevr remedy works 4u..

enuf said tho not enuf done yet.... dis post is a pictorial tribute (2d first n hopefull d last tym dat i puked)... d day indeed a rathr early day(1am) wen i got drunk so bad dat i lost 3-4 hours f memory... d fatefull day rather it started at nite ..so d fatefull nite ws one f my frnds brday/housewarming party.. now if ur drinkin n dnt hv 2go back home :P den u shud nvr stop drinking unless d drinks r all ovr.. n dat nite v tuk d onus of getin all d bottles empty... n hell yeah we did.. :P only 2 get all dizzy d next morning rathr few hours later..

u wana avoid d hangover do not sleep or rather sleep for proper long hours... so dat once u get up u r completely normal.. mayb a lil headache.. but dats worth it... i mean imagine getin up in d morning bangin in d balcony door thinkin its d loo door :P.. den finding ur belt on d floor, shoes n sox scattered... wallet n fone misplaced n if u wear specs den dos wud b mislocated 2.. n still u go hell wid it lemme sleep 4 somtym 1st.... :P can it get bttr... hmm having said dat i think it can.. probably next tym d mixing f d drinks hapn, den will knw of my next hangover.. n so will d d blosphere... :P

i guess now widout further adue i bring 2u alil insite 2d nite/early morning dat was... njy ppl :P :P

n rest r bttr kept in d closet :P :P

read it somewhere.. alcohol does not solves any problem.. but neither dos milk... so CHEERS!!!

tangled up in you

"in this world where nothing else is true... here i am..... still tangled up in u..."

finally the 3yr long MCA came 2 an end cpl of days ago.. thot f posting dis 1 dat day itself but dint really feel lyk typing den.. but d 3 yrs , dis blogshpere n d ppl abt whome d post is goin 2b desrvd dis 1...d final day f colg,, d last viva f dem all.. smthing made me feel amazing dat day.... ws happy beynd happiness...sm say how can ending f d colg can mk u feel so,, fair enuf... but dunno wot was it..

nostalgia has been in d air 4 smtym now.. actually i felt it started alil early 4 sm f us :P... evn now dis post myt b a lil early ,, but guess sm yrs dwn d line reading it wud mk dat NOSTALGIA factor come alive... so it comes now.. but d essence f it mite tk smtym 2 surface.. (did dat make sense?? well am not a literature guy or a english teacher soo alls well :P)

goin back 2d 1st yr f colg.. d very 1st day ..1AUG 2007 ..SAD it ws.. lookin at d classmates i ws goin 2 hv 4d next 3yrs.. made me feel "lag gayi yar.. yeh kaisa crowd hai :P".. n den d thot of ok lemme jst b wid sm studious nerds n study here 4 3long yrs n get d degree n hallelujah... but den der ws dis fimiliar face.. sm1 4m my graduation days.. sm1 i had nvr noticed b4.. sm1 i had no contact wid.. but here d face seemd like a blessing in disguise :P.. a female 4m my grad tuition days.. who i nvr interactd wid.. but here it ws lyk .."ohh i knw u " how funny is dat.. ..dey say ppl r destined 2 meet 1 way or d odr.. guess it holds true in evry aspct n way... dis very female went on 2b d gelling factor for 5 more random individuals... probably she had d eye for genuine ppl :P n ws der 4d purpose f bringing in ppl 2ghtr.. d shorter she is in strature d taller she is in her ways n ambitions... the title of "jhansi ki rani"(tho i prefer 2 cal her chotti) mite jst fit her well... 4 incite her evn alil n she will b ready 2 tk on d world.....d precision she can chew d pen n transform it in2 a small lil umbrella ws commandable :P.. n mind u alot f concentration n precision went in2 it... 1yr dwn d line,, dunno how it went by.. n she left 4 greener pastures.. but not b4 she bot sm f totaly opposite ppl 2ght... looking back in tym... doesnt seem it wud hv been posible odrwise.. but den again if things r destined 2b.. den dey will b 1 way or d odr... she still remains chotti n d jhansi ki rani spirit only growin stronger day by day... :P

den der ws D dude... d master of all n jack of none.. is der anything on dis planet dat d dude cant hv solutin 2?? NONE.. my 1st interaction wid d dude.. n he goes on 2 ask me if i smoke n i need not feel shy if i do :P... unfortunate 4d dude.. i dnt.. alot changed ove tym wid d dude.. not a bad person but guess tyms n company smtyms mks us in2 a diff person altoghtr.. d day we start thinking abt wot odrs think n not wot we think.. dat very day v lose ourselves n d result aint rosy 4 no1.. had my share of bitter sweet exprnces wid d dude... guess not all can b frnds... ppl arnt gud or bad .. but tyms can b tricky... so 3yrs gone by.... i can only wish all d very best 2d dude.. n hope rathr am sure he will do exceedingly well in wotevr he chooses 2do..

now i'v met many a individuals in my life... but nvr b4 have i come across any on d same lines as f d ones am goin 2 write abt

dey say ladies 1st.. but am gona make it a lil diff by making ladies man 1st :P.. am sure d ladies wont mind at all on dis... n am not jst sayin dis 4d heck f it... smtym dwn d road i ws enlightend wid d fact dat d persons popularity has alwaz been such... 2d extend of him being called "MM"... wich ws short of marriage material :P... gurls 4m his grad days told him how he ws d guy who dey cud tk home n introduce 2 der family... talk abt fans.. here is a superstar himself... a GEM f a person in evryway f life... ppl develop an instant liking 4him. n in d last 3 yrs not jst women but men hv been attracted 2him alike :P :P... he can very easily b a male version on meneka.. LOL... dunno.. jst felt like writing dat... d guy's philosphy leaves me wondering at tyms... his humour n timing of one liners ... not many can match his wit.. tho i try but guess its natural born talent n not all can match mine eithr :P :P.... jokes apart , a very genuine person n evn a bttr frnd.. wud go n did go totaly opposite , out f his ways 2help out ppl.. i hapnd 2hv exprncd dat 4 my own misfortune :(

but like i said its all destined so cant really run alway 4m nothin.. tyms n situations r funny..

moving ahd of d ladies man... gota get 2d ladies now... 2f der own kind... d 1st tym i got 2 knw dem... :P well d fact dey being 4m a gurls convent made me cautious... thot dey were clever n only acting 2b dumb but wid tym dey prvd me wrong :P :P... dey were neithr clever nor dumb ...while one has a childish like smile n glint in d eye... d odr has elegance n sophistications of a royal princess... while 1 is hasmukh d odr 1 is dadi ma , where ones infectious smile can brighten evn d gloomiest f atmosphere arnd, d odrs dignity n class will mk u try n b in ur best behaviour... needless 2 say both had der own huge fan following ... guys wanting 2 jst say a hi... but only managing d courage 2do d same on social networking :P :P... funny 2wrds d beginning f it all dey hated me 4my rude n to much in d face nature... i 2 dint had much likin 4d 2 eithr.. partially 4 der schooling history :P n partially f d fact dat dey dint approve f my ways f treating ppl n d dislike ws evident... but wid tym d dislikes changed in2....hmmm... appreciations lets say n not likes 2 b politically correct here :P :P.... things chngd wid tym 4 gud n d way dey stand now.. it funny thinking f how n where v started...

3 long yrs made short by certain ppl... had our shares of ups n downs... d latter being few,, n former being so many dat cant count dem ....n d dwns i blv only bot us evn closer.. 4it made me realse d value n need of des ppl arnd.... remmbr d days f nonstop nonsense lafters 4 no rhyme or reason.. finding d humour in almost nething.. laffing 4 hours dat d jaw starts aching n tears start rolling dwn d cheeks.. of 1 particular individual specially...d bonding tyms at NSP or countless hours at CP...

remmbering tyms f making fun f almost evry1 :P... d way some walkd.. d way odrs used 2 talk... den d postures few used 2mk .. suggestin as if dey r asking d teachers.. "madam meri maar lo" ROFL.... giving nicknames 2 ppl... d kartik ka mahina incidences :P.. n countless such memories... guess i alone cant recollect dem all.. aftr all i ws not a only 1 ... i had my partners in crime....

i alwaz hated d class rooms n lectures,, ws on d low side f d attndence alwaz .. n cudnt stand d administration.. but still am glad i landed up in d colg dat ws ours 4d past 3 yrs... 4 i made sm frnds here who i jst cnt afford 2 lose.. each individual made me realise smthing or d odr.... my post r usually long ..dunno if dis 1 is short or long.. but it sure is very small 2 jott dwn all my memories n praises 4 des individuals.. but guess like sm things sm memories r bttr kept unsaid n unshared...

P.S. prior 2 starting dis post, jst say a dosti video upload by a talented junior.. wid d jane kyun song 4m dostana bein played in d backgrnd... d song sure fits d bill ... am not makin no radio broadcast request here.. but sure wud dedicate it 2d few close 1s who i sure cant b widout.... :P

CHEERS!!!

"how long has it been since this story line begin....... n i hope it never ends .....n goes like dis 4evr"

P.P.S. the start n end quoted lines are 4m d very same song which is d title 4dis post....

My Jekyll Doesn't Hide

stautionary warning: dis post is going 2b reminiscence of my older post....old wine in new bottle types,nothin new in it.. jst dat hvnt posted 4 long so thot will post smthing :P


smtym during my junior school day i read dis amazing story wich still fascinates me .. the story of DR JEKYLL and MR HIDE.. tho i dnt remmbr d whole story but d idea f how 1 small portion can change d respctful educated doctor in2 a lost soul rathr a wickd creature at nite is evil.. awesum isnt it...tho 2day i wonder do v really need ne such portion 2 turn in2 1such creature,, b it day or nite?? or is it sm portion dat v require so dat v can b othrWISE... PHILOSOPHY :P .. i so love d subject..specially wen i get 2 gv it 2 ppl.. n bsyds been long now since i last posted smthing her on d blogsphere... (not dat i hv disappointed ne f my fans here :P.. but still) so thot y not jott dwn smthing... this track title seemd nice thot wud mk it d title 4d post..

its been awhile n nothin really has been coming 2my head.. well actually nothing really worthwhile posting here.. d head had hundreds f things flickering evyday.. jst not having d peace 2 sort dem out.. n no hope seems 2b on d way for dat in d near future.. so gota let things b n tym play its part.. v all want d perfect world 4 ourselves n keep searchin 4 it all d tym.. smtyms v evn think v jst myt hv got dat .. but b4 v realise its tym 2 move on... in practicalty dat perfect world doesnt exists.. no mattr how hard u try 2 find it u can nvr keep it d way it is... like dey say change is d only constant ,,, so b it.. i blv in d "tym cycle" or "samay ka chakra" shud i say,, 4 wenevr thing arnt goin d rite way 4 me.. i like 2 blv tym will show d way n der is nothing dat i can do 2 mk things rite... more or less d philosphy of let tym tk control f it , is wot keeps me goin.. but dunno wen d tym mite play d spoil sport n throw d short ball wich i wnt b able 2 avoid.. well as i blv ... tym will tk cr f evn dat :P :P..

nehw coming back 2d title f d post.. wot i thot f posting here...

now for smtym (shud hv named d post tym n again or smthing like dat mayb ,nvrdless) i hv been noticing or shud i say hv been made 2 notice or realise a certain trend dat i hv had in my life for long now... i like 2 blv dis is how i hv alwaz been... but off late 2 many ppl hv been tryin 2 mk me realise how i'v been (n do i care abt des suggestion n realizations?? well dnt think i do.. but still am posting here for it seemd nice topic 2 squeeze a post out f it :P.. so gota thnx dos ppl for dis...) i am made 2 blv or shud i say i blv ;p.. dat wid me arnd der is no conversation dat remains a conversation.. n more dan often it changes in2 an argument or debate.. n bttr still (4 me atlst) it winds up wid me having d last word ;p almost alwaz.. now is it dat am gud or is it dat am suferring 4m sm disorder 2 hv d last say all d tym .. or is it sm escape routine dat i mite b on2 widout realising it... phewww dats heavy.. nvr gave it a thot but writing here it seems scary,,,, but its more scary 4d ppl arnd dan me so all gud :P or is it??? ... not many r able r handle d pressure n more dan often dey tk d back seat... a frnd rathr EX frnd once said i'll keep losing all my frnds if i dnt stop dis habit f mine... for wich i blv if my frnds cant handle my flaw (like she wud hv had liked me 2 blv it dat its a flaw) den dey arnt my frnds in d 1st place... 4me its like if u wont ovrlook a persons flaws u can nvr bfrnd dem... d sole reason y v r frnds wid ppl dat v r frnds wid is becos v dnt mind der flaws or d odr syd.. but rathr blv in dem n njy d tyms wid dem... u wnt get d diamond till u dig deep in d coal mine :P.. off course u can get d polishd custom made 1 at d stores but u gota pay heavy materialistc price 4it n dey r polishd not in d raw form.... but d 1 u find in d coal mine by all ur efforts is d 1 u gona cherish evn more... dat cost wudnt b materialstc :P :P.. (and i cant help but tap myself on d back 4 dis philosophy :P :P,, excuse me 4 dat)

sarcasm n comments have become synonomous wid me now.. well dey hv alwaz been der wid me.. for me bsyds me ;p... but guess now its pinching ppl 2 much... n worst still as dey wud feel (bttr still like i wud say) it doesnt mttrs 2me if dey get pissed of... now i knw am gona get sm gyan 4 dis.. well hv been getin in d near past 2 (hmm near past sounds wierd..).. but still if ppl cant stop acting like morons n jackasses,, dey dnt expect me 2 stop torturing dem.. for dey get wot dey gv .... poor souls dey r ... for dey blv i can only strip ppl off der dignity... wot dey dont realise is .. dey alrdy r naked in dat deprtmnt... LOL n i dnt say it out f arrogance .. but i say dis 4 i hv ppl n frnds arnd who hv been der n ovrlookd d flaws (if it is i still wud say :P) n dey knw how it is wen i praise ppl.. like d post title says... MY JEKYLL doesnt HIDE... u act like an asshole arnd me n i'll b ur worst nitemare... u dnt b 1 n u'ill c i aint dat bad aftr all... well i wnt b bad but u still will b an asshole deep dwn insyd so no use...

all des philosphies hv been working fine 4 me uptill now... :-/ stepping in2 d corporate world has changed a thing or two in less dan 3 months... dunno how long n d jekyll 2 hide transition wud b complete on me... playin ofyc ofyc sure isnt easy... getin in d mud 2 wrestle d pig u hv 2 get dirty .. evn if u try 2 stay out f it.. still ur arnd n d splashes will get u dirty... no mattr where u plan 2 run away its all arnd... only d mud puddle n pigs r diff... n dey r literally licking d arse f ones in front f dem... not a game am gona play... nvr played it nvr will... dey say survival f d fittest .. u not gona get fit by licking assess assholes..

its funny how ppl change der colors in a split sec ... dis art has baffeled me alwaz.. but i nvr had 2 tk such crap in life... n now gota think 2wc b4 getin d thots across... dat scares me... gota device d ways 2 b mr hide wen in d corporate n dr jekyll wen out in d normal world... but often d portion plays 4 long n b4 v knw its mr hide who has taken ovr in all aspects f life....

evry1 has sm1 sitting on top of dem wid a stick in hand 2 spank (:p)  or d way it goes 2day bamboo 2 ahhmmm ahhmmm... nehw dats not imp how u address d issue.. wot imp is y tk dat bamboo or stick or any crap... ?? nw here d old refuge "tym "comes in2 its tricky mode n mks u do wot u nvr thot u will... all our lives v keep working hard 2 get in2 d corporate n once in der it gets evn worse.. atlst dats wot my 2 odd months f corpor8 life suggets.. now its not dat bad eithr... for i like 2 blv things cud hv been evn worse... n alwaz picture d worst case scenario 2 mk myself content wid wot is arnd... but den nostalgia f d tyms n ppl 4m dat once existent perfect world mks me wonder where am i n doin wot??

hmm how did i start n where am i goin now... (i mean 2 say dat 4d flow f d post :P) guess shud stop now.. else i'll get bored writing 4gt abt ppl reading dis... so gues aftr a long hibernation like a fellow blogger said... here is my latest post :P... dunno wen d nxt instalment wil surface.. tho ending dis smthing has alrdy croppd up in d mind.. not on des lines smthin dat most f d ppl who read my posts knw... but still myt b fun givin d photographc insite on it... chalo till den dis is all i got...

P.S. i dnt think i can stop d habit f commenting .. its deep down insyd f me ;p... bsyds i blv d 1s who cant match  d wit end up sulking sayin evrything is a topic f debate or argumnt 4me.. for der r d 1s who njy des discussions n more dan often end up outwitting me n having d last words.. :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! congratulations n celebrations....

well had nothin 2 blog of late things arnt such dat need 2b blogged down... rather dey shud  disappear smwhre in d long lost world but still dats how life is goin 2b still 2 start 4 most f us

nehw dis post isnt meant 2b abt me or how things r wid me... dis is 1f a kind u'il find on my link here..

happy brithday 2 my neice :D...

18th jan dis year she turned a whole year old :)... seems like jst yestday she ws brand new looking like dis

n now jst 2 days ago she ws cutting her 1st beday cake.. well not really d 1st 1.. she has been cuttin cakes 4 each month of completion so guess dis ws 1 thing she hs alrdy perfectd 2 perfection :P

now i can still remmbr her 4m d days she wud lie curled up, n evry1 arnd wud b waiting 2 get 1 glimpse f her wen she opens d eyes, 4 most f tym early dos days she wud b sleeping curled up like all d kiddos... infants rathr

 am scared of kids, n vice versa, we have dis mutual thing dat dey r scared f me n am not very comfrtble arnd dem eithr, n it ws d same wid my neice 2, i dint gathred d courage 2 pik her up in my arms .. not b4 she ws 6months old... dat to 4 a min or so i held her , trust me dat ws one f dos very tense minutes f my life, now am not gud wid delicate things.. n wot more delicate dan a cute lil kiddo, ws so scared if i wud drop her or held her 2 hard dat she mite cry... so alwaz admired her 4m a certain distance dat made me n her comfrtable, i said mutual 4 she 2 wud run away n hide herself in comfrt f her  mommy or her mommy's mommy  .. i dnt blame d poor kid 4 dat, 4 often evn grown up adults get intimidatd by me leave asyds infants... n am not jst sayin dat.. it is d case,,, i remmber meeting an old tym school frnd aftr 3 4 yrs while she ws takin a stroll in d park... n d way her mom gt scared thinking who is dis guy n y does my daughter knw his :P haha ya dats wot ws written on her face... tho smhw i find dat amussing :P ..i still do

so nvrmind d frnd's mom 4 d lady f d moment is sm1 else,,, sm1 who now is not scared f me anymore,, guess she has matured enuf n accptd d fact dat her uncle (mama) is alwaz goin 2b wierd like dis :P so now she does runs away rather sports a wide spread smile looking at me.. dat 1 smile of a child ,,wot wonders it does v all knw... only wen u knw d kid is smiling 4u it mks ur day evn bttr :D...

ws fun 2 watch her try n sit in her early day(well evn still she in in early days but a yr old nvrdless) but fall 2d side like dat humpty dumpty toy :P.. i knw sm mite say how rude or mean 2 compare her like dis but d fact is it ws so CUTE... ,,, wen she startd goin wayward in her walker jst bumping in2 random stuff n still b laffing cheerfull... no wonder d expression" laf like a child ".. i smhw relate 2d expression more now... cos seeing is blving :P... wonders happn n sure dey keep on hapnin wid a kid arnd... her 1st brday n she ws standing (wid a lil support negligble tho)by herself.... waiting 4d day her crawls wud b convertd 2 lil walks... d small lil words she has learnd 2 mummble... MAMA ..PAPAIYA... BUA NANA...  words v hear all our life but d same coming out f her mouth makes dem priceless,, my folks sit 4 hrs ovr d fone wen she is not arnd jst 2 listen 2 des small words 4m her n dat brightens d atmosphere arnd.. tho i find dat pretty lame :-/.. still dat lil voice on d speaker makes me smile 2 :D.. n ya i jst love n cant find nething more adorable wen she sneezes :P :P...its awesum... tho wish d cold (n odr such stuff)stay away 4m her

1 lilttle kiddo n she can capture any no f ppl in d house ,she sits in d middle n has all arnd her jst wantin 2 say der name or mk a gesture 2wrds dem or jst smile at dem.. am lucky 2 get alot f smiles 4m her... :) n often she mks u laf hard loud... does her routine of poo poo n pee pee n wen her mom will scold her 4 spoliling d clothes she wil laf n hv dat glint in d eye ..as if sayin hehe u clean my poo poo i'll jst lie here n laf :P... smtyms feels she is goin 2 grow up in2 very mischievious kiddo n y not she is alrdy pamperd 2 ervy possble extent .... loves d outdoors, jst any1 who can tk her out 4a walk,,she literally jumps in2 der arms.. n refuses 2 get dwn,, also will start crying if u stop roaming n sit dwn or stand still...

dey say kids knw all d secrets f life n death n till d tym d kiddo starts 2 speak he/she remmbers al f his/her pastlife.. evry act dey do, evry way dey behave dey r very much aware of wot dey r up2.. only cant express in words,, n slowly dis memory starts evading dem n b4 dey start 2 speak dey have der brains as brand new hard disk wid no bakcup.. dunno how much fact or fiction is associated wid dis funda.. but 1 thing 4sure kids sure knw n can sense d atmosphere arnd dem... 4 if dey knw dey r bein scolded in real dey mk d puppy face or der innocent face.. well kids alwaz look innocent .. only wot do i say wen talkin f 1.. nehw whtr der memory holds d secret or not.. 1  secret dey sure hold ,, d secret f makin ppl arnd happy on any occassion n in any circumstances.. 4 1smile n d day is goin 2b fine.. any tym f d day things go dwn jst gota b reminded f dat smling toothless jaw  :P... n ya she has 6 teeth now btw..4 in d upper jaw n 2 in d middle of d bottom 1... no more d POOPLI smile...... still it does wonders :)

 

well c told u i did manage 2 hold her now.. only in dis particular pic she refused 2 smile :(... seems still gets scared wen comes 2 close in proximity wid my beard mayb... cos she smiles really big jst looking at me.. or mayb laffs thinkin "kya mama insaan ban jao :P apke baal toh mujhse bhi lambe hai hehe"

dunno wot goes on her mind

another picture f her ... wid d tongue teasing all arnd sayin am d kiddo  :P :P... LUV U KIDDO

she is goin 2 celebr8 her day dis saturday nite big tym only i guess i'll miss dat :(... but looking at d postv side its jst 1f d starting brdays 4her ... but she is goin 2b special on all her brday 4vr... GOD BLESS n damn am growing old....

AND also... dis is not jst 1 reason 2 post 2day.. remmberd a song 4m school tym it went

if ur happy n u knw it clap ur hands

if ur happy n u knw it clap ur hands

if ur hand n u knw it n u really wan2 show it

if ur happy n u knw it clap ur hands...

CLAP CLAP CLAP

2 of my dearest friends got placed 2day :D... CONGRATULATIONS 2 both f dem ... u mk me proud:P :P...it feels happy wen ppl who deserve things n r well worthy f dem get dem...n am really glad 2day 4 not only des2 desrvd being placed dey r cpl f close few 4m d colg 4me... both f dem placed 2ghtr at d same firm n wot bttr finally a workplace near der home :P all des yrs dey had 2 travel places 2 reach colg n made words like puntuality n regularity  mk sense 4me.. tho i still cudnt mk use f dem evn aftr getin d meaing well :P :P....

 

well congrats ladies n keep smiling :D so,

CLAP CLAP CLAP

STOMP STOMP STOMP

TURN AROUND 3 times...

well d 1s who knw d song will knw wot am sayin rest can clap stomp or turn arnd or jst leave a commnt readin dis :P :P...

so congratualtions 2my sweet little kiddo 4 turning an yr old,,, n congrats 2d 2 ladies 4 turning a new stone in der lives n makin a new start 4 dem selves... celebration 4 dem n ME 4 having such wonderfull ppl arnd

3 CHEERS!!!