PhOnEy sMiLeS & FaKe hElLos

now been sm tym since i last blogged so myt b a lil rusty dis tym arnd.. but nvrthless anthr beginning at last evr wondered y 1 wud bolg??is it d daily evnts 1 wud put dnw??or d frustations v nvr share out in d open??? random thots wich seems so wierd n strange??? or smtyms mayb jst 4d fun of it.. y am i writin dis thing?? mani reasons i guess , well 4 starters gt nothin bttr 2do, been on an extnded holiday mode so thot y not do smthin 4d society (:P ok bloggin doin smthin 4d society hahahaha ahhmmm...)newaz reasons... hmmm, comin across ppl in life... say sm 4m d past aftr long times or new 1s, wonderin how does each n evry day brings abt new changes in ppl, der way of life, d way of thinkin... 1 new addition 2a person n der perspctv change 2wards evrything.. how dey start speakin each othrs tongue.. d influence v hv on our peers n vice versa, now is dis influence makin us bttr ppl, or makin us 4gt who v r?? dey say good n bad 2 sides of d same coin but wot r v getin?? is it head or tails 4us?? n who is d 1 flippin dis coin?? y does its alwaz d gud syd all wan2 c n show n nvr cum across d bad 1?? amidst all dis goodness n friendly air do v realise dat so mani tyms v r jst fakin arnd.. b it our behaviour , d way v meet othrs... like d title sez ..phoney smiles n fake hellos.. while inside u knw wots goin on.. how well u like d company f d person presnt, d comfrt level dat person has wid ur presence... all pretendin hw elated dey r 2b der while d reality is far 4m wot it seems,, but smtyms maby des is wots requrd, jst 2 shw smthin dats not aftr all u gt ur whole life ahd of u.. dis person dis moment will soon b a thing of past den y not jst let dis thing b.. aft all des fake smiles only makin d worst go away, ..wot wen d harsh emotions replace dis sweet air tho not real n uncmfrtabl.. hw comfrtable is reality goin 2b?? newaz guess dat all 4 d individuals 2 dcd demslves n work out wots best ... in d words f a gr8 soul"choose wot u wish 2 blv.. choose wot u wish 2 c, ... cos v live no more"d falsehood v kary along is d1 wich mks it all kickin.. smtyms mks evry1 stick 2gtr.. or mayb dats nthr thot 2 jst mk 1 blv its all gud, funny thing u meet a random person 4m past n eithr f u jst cant stand each othr but how u gona hugg dem n sport ur best smile evr.. n how all d phrases like "stay in touch" "lets mk a scn soon" "will catch u later" n ya ofcourse share d mobiles numbers.. hahaha only 2 nvr call in most f d cases.. like i said funny story ... n evn more crazy d social networkings.. wid ppl comin across each othr almst evry day but d best interaction dey can hv wud b on sm social netwrkin.. mayb cos it easy not 2 hv 2put up d fake smiles der cos d smileys do dat work :P like dis 1 n mani more... wots der dat mks a person get along wid 1 while cant stand sm1 esle... goin by d theory f algebre.. well thot shud use in my bloggin bein a mathematical student....dey say X=y n y=z makes x=z,,, but x bein comfrtbl wid y n y bein wid z doesnt neccrly mks x gud wid z n thus d phoney hellos surface 2 save a law of great mathematicians... lolzz.. so it goes well dwn in history 2... ok mayb its easy 2 deal dis way wid our past.. but d past ws present 1 day n wot used 2 hapn den?? nthr funny story :P think abt it n u gona hv a gud laf, smtyms it feels lyf's 2 short 2hv things against sm1 n y waste it in jst makin thing worse.. n smtyms jst certain things becum soooooooooo long dat all d friction comes out loud.. so shrt sweet life wid long bittr exprnces... so let all d fakenss n pheny hellos prevail cos d smile do lie along wid dem.. u nver knw wen des plastc smiles mayb wash away all dats not 2b ....n all v wud b left wid wud b d Smiles n hellos .... n ofcourse in d tyms of technology y 4gt d smileys:P :) ;) :> :X n mani more ..guess certain of us r bttr den othrs in placin d smileys .. certainly ppl i knw who r bttr den me at dat... nehw enuf of d blog 4now,, nothin more comin 2d head.. so till d tym it cooks up smthin again lets all b wid d smiles n hellos wid nothin phoeny or fake......

demise of sanity

ok ..y am i writin dis ??? y dnt knw .. is it gona mk ne sense??? i cant say.. guess smtyms in life v jst do thing v really dnt knw y v doin dem.. or mayb v dnt wan2 knw smthings... at certain points in life 1 gota look back n realise wot hv v got out of it.. or wot hv v given 2 life.... or is it jst 22yrs of total waste, whr sme othr soul wud hv had mde bttr use of d life given, gota ask 1self am i livin or jst existin, u feel ur life sux.. its all hell 4u , whiled reality is dat its bttr den mani othr arnd u, but am i doin justice 2 dis life am livin??? wot is 1 supposd 2do wen nothin in life is goin ryt 4 u n d time passin by only mskes it worse ..... d air arnd u gloomy n all negative vibes 365 days a yr, how long is 1 supposd 2 jst keep der minds away 4m d reality arnd dem... is it ryt 2 tk d easy way out cos u knw ur not strng enuf 2 tk d ryt way , 2do d ryt thing.... do v need 2 mend d ways n face d hardships or ignore d consequenses.... does d fake world 1 spins arnd gona b of ne refuge or only pave way or our own graves ,,, wot hapns wen d only 1's u care bout mk u all frustated n irritated??? u cant stand dem but cant affrd 2 loose dem eithr... wot does it tks 2 hv a peacefull life.. or is it jst d grave whr 1 can rest in peace??? o i 4gt not evn der cos dats only beginnin of d othr life.. damn des selfhelp life chngin exprenc books... wen d doomsday is ryt on ur head n u hv no whr no run wot is 1 2do den??? b all lost?? kill d soul?? commit suicide?? no my frnd cant evn do dat cos d suicidal efforts only gona mk u live d hardships f life u hv had uptil den once again.. dnt v here bout d karmas n life lessons, so killin 1self 1 f d easist way so out f options now.... now wot ???jst live wid a world filld wid gloom u4?? d ppl who care bout r all wot hapnd?? wots wrong?? but dey cant help unless u allow dem 2.. but do u really desrve des ppl??? des r d 1s who help u outta ur daily routine life n gv u a reson 2 live, but do v really desrve dem??? bein d lame lazy loser , gona lose dem all 1day , den wot??? r v livin or jst existin?? is ne gud left in us?? can v find 1 reason not 2 mk life of des ppl.... d family d frnds, horrble jst bcos our brains r fuckd up like hell??? dey dint do nothin wrong 2 desrve a fool like us, jst like v cant find a reason wot did v do 2desrve des souls arnd us???y is it dat d 1s u care bout r d 1s wid whome u often end up messin up ur relation wid???is it really worth it?? but wot wen things jst nvr go ryt 4u??? its only d wrong which keeps on hapnin ryt 4u??? a wise man said once"u nvr knw wen u so damn high on d blessed hellride".. n bamm... u end up in ur own grave.. do d death march n fall dwn wid nothin 2 cling on2... nvr did nethin ryt??? no gud in ur own life.. but yes can critisize othrs,mke dem look likde fool... wen ws d last tym v saw our own true image in d mirror?? wnt it b easy 2 c our true selves den 2 show othrs der?? cant appreciate others... but knw wot guys.. give me smthin dat is worth applaudin,, dat i genuinly gud.. i knw wot all crap u do jst 2 mk n image f u.... b all awesum n gr8... do dat b hapi ... but hi... i dnt tell u d crap u do is ryt or wrong.. so spare me n dnt tell me wots wrong n wots wrong wid me.. cos ya nothin can b ryt wid me,,dnt u fuckin gimme ne advc n attitude... am tryin 2 look myself in d mirror .. u do d same..
am not a gud person n am jst f9 wid dat... i cant do nothin ryt... dats my problem let me handle dat.. am bein unreasnbl, so let it b... its a total waste f life in me... allw me 2 drag my sorry arse 2my grave ... let d insanity prevail arnd me... cos i cant run away 4m smthin dat makes me... wots life wots death??? life's ultimate destination???is it d end dat mattrs or how v achvd it??? wot lesson am i 2 learn 4m dis life.. wots makin d head go bizzare.. y cant it all b d way it alwaz hv it untill smtym now... n sm wud say BE OPTIMISTIC.... be hapi dnt wory all wud b f9.. like d selfhelp books say.... but can i run away 4m d reality??? n pretend 2b all hapi n optimistc wen day in day out u jst find same old gloominess arnd u??? isnt it human nature not 2 tk nothin beynd a saturation point?? u dnt do nothin wrong n ppl keep on poitin fingers at u 4 smthin u nvr did... y cant dey jst let 1 b in peace... but r des trbls really arnd us?? or is it jst a state f mind??can sm1 else really mk life terrible 4 ppl or is it 1 demselves makin our own lives hell n findin excuses 2 blame it on othrs??? u knw it all n stil u do it wrong??? who is 2 blame 4 1s plight??? fuck d crazy brains cos it only makes life bizzare.. shud v live in d moment n not think of wot will cum outta it or b all calculatv?? is der ne1 who is goin 2 b der 4u alwaz or u will go jst d way u came?? bare naked in evry aspct of life..... hv i lost my sanity or am i on d verge of losin it??? whr do des thots cum 4m?? n y do dey blow my brains away... hw long is dis phase of dis hellride gona continue?? ?whr am gona land aftr dis?? wot crap am i bloggin here?? is it in true sense d demise of sanity????